Fright

Oddly enough, I thought I had moved past this. Needing to vent my feelings to no one. Or someone no where. Apparently, in the face of adversity I revert back to what I know to be time-tested stress relievers.

Almost always, I only post my "poetic" thought ramblings. However, my self-control no longer exists.

I will be completely honest and say that: it is not helping this time.

I am not being dramatic. Or maybe I am?

I can be that. Dramatic, I mean.

I want to be coherent and understandable and understanding and loving and reassuring and that person who everyone expects me to be when faced with shock.

But I'm scared. When the shit hits the fan, I might lose a friend because I was protecting another. And I might hate myself a little for it.

A lot.

And my mind is running in circles and I want it all to just not be.

I want my voice back.